Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I miss my family
I met my uncle at cooks corner the other night. We had dinner and talked about a lot of different stuff. I really miss the way it used to be.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Still
Can you hear them
They talk about us
Telling lies
Well that's no surprise
Can you see them
See right through them
They have no shield
No secrets to reveal
It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed
Careless talk
Through paper walls
We can't stop them
Only laugh at them
Spreading rumors
So far from true
Dragged up from the underworld
Just like some precious pearl
It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed
Pay no mind to what they say
It doesn't matter anyway
Our lips are sealed
There's a weapon
We must use
In our defense
Silence
When you look at them
Look right through them
That's when they'll disappear
That's when you'll be feared
Hush, my darling
Don't you cry
Quiet, angel
Forget their lies
After the storm..
I didn't imagine this week happening this way. I actually could not have imagined the last couple of months going down the way they have.
Sometimes I hinder at what to say, Cause I'm afraid I'll look back and regret it.
I dunno why, I shouldn't really.
I do want to say this though. I miss every piece of freedom anyone should have. Like cooking, or doing your laundry [ without someone nagging of complaining] . Or being looked at in the eye when speaking to someone. I am being purposely pushed out of a conversation. How much longer can one take that? Not very. I often ask myself why I have chosen to surround myself with such hatred and dysfunction. I justify it by knowing I didn't meet him under these conditions. I think "one day it won't be like this". I pray to god I can make it.
No rest, no peace, ever, ever, never, ever.
Something is always terribly exaggerated, or assumed. Something is always being snooped about, pried into. Someone is being talked about in a Negative Light, someone is always beneath you. Someone is always doing something wrong, And people are always making bad choices, even though yours has cost family, years, people, life, love, compassion, empathy. Anything of good, you have destroyed. And it's because you know everyone is better than you. Suffocation, lack of commitment, lack of truth. Lack of real virtue, LACK OF Character, lack of strength, lack of pureness. You are joyful in ones misery, and show no remorse for causing pain. Snub away. Whether you believe in God or Not, whatever energy you draw to yourself is surely to follow your soul.
The days come and go much faster now that I am older, and I feel the ever increasing pressure to be where I should be by society's standards. I have to remind myself that I don't need to move at anyone else's speed but my own. This is supposed to be my epic month, hopefully that is how it turns out.
Sometimes I hinder at what to say, Cause I'm afraid I'll look back and regret it.
I dunno why, I shouldn't really.
I do want to say this though. I miss every piece of freedom anyone should have. Like cooking, or doing your laundry [ without someone nagging of complaining] . Or being looked at in the eye when speaking to someone. I am being purposely pushed out of a conversation. How much longer can one take that? Not very. I often ask myself why I have chosen to surround myself with such hatred and dysfunction. I justify it by knowing I didn't meet him under these conditions. I think "one day it won't be like this". I pray to god I can make it.
No rest, no peace, ever, ever, never, ever.
Something is always terribly exaggerated, or assumed. Something is always being snooped about, pried into. Someone is being talked about in a Negative Light, someone is always beneath you. Someone is always doing something wrong, And people are always making bad choices, even though yours has cost family, years, people, life, love, compassion, empathy. Anything of good, you have destroyed. And it's because you know everyone is better than you. Suffocation, lack of commitment, lack of truth. Lack of real virtue, LACK OF Character, lack of strength, lack of pureness. You are joyful in ones misery, and show no remorse for causing pain. Snub away. Whether you believe in God or Not, whatever energy you draw to yourself is surely to follow your soul.
The days come and go much faster now that I am older, and I feel the ever increasing pressure to be where I should be by society's standards. I have to remind myself that I don't need to move at anyone else's speed but my own. This is supposed to be my epic month, hopefully that is how it turns out.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Family
Christopher and Frankie
Sarah & Mom
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