Mehbeh

I thought if I started earlier today it would feel shorter. So far, No. LOL. Its HOURS till my lunch and I am lost in thought already. I feel like I'm getting sick. Couldn't sleep this morning, was too fucking cold. I hate that house and I hate the life I have to live to be in it.

something real

It feels as if I had a really bad nap during my weekend. I was very agitated most of it and couldn't get things done the way I wanted/when I wanted to. Best thing about this weekend was sushi on Saturday night. At the lovely Zen Sushi (my favorite place). It's like my modern day cheers. They know me and always say hi, we even have our own set of chopsticks there. #26

I guess what bothers me is constantly flexing around everything and everyone. And not really feeling as if that is done for me. Don't get me wrong, he does work around me...when I through a fit that is. I want something real and normal and I guess being around his family so much has just pushed me to the deep end of tolerance with them interfering in our lives as if we were teenagers. Planning our trip, hounding for details, etc, etc. All while putting us in the middle of his mom and grandma. Whom BOTH want to plan their trips around us....Its exhausting.

Current goals, Keep to weight watchers, exercise, kick ass at work. Wishing everyday I could wake up to a new life.... I know it's out there...

Quilling

I'm glad I'm here

As hard as everything is, as lonely and sad I get. I am happy to be doing exactly what I want. To be here in this moment is all I wanted. Experience. A new adventure. Regardless of the weight I must carry to have it. I don't care.

Always

Just before I go to sleep
There's a rendez-vous I keep
And, my darling, till we do
You are always in my heart.

Bend, Oregon

I went to visit my best friend Katrina, it was a short trip but was exactly what I needed.

Big Bear

In all my years, I had never been in snow. Always close to it, but somehow always falling through. Finally went.

The texture was nothing I had expected, I guess I thought it would have been softer? But either way it was cool to finally make a snow ball. We ate at a small place down the road called Blondie's. It was like a step up from Dennys, but the lady was really nice. It was clean and very mellow.

So Very

Happy to be home