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Looking back at these I feel so much anger when I read them. But not in a bad way, remembering what my goal is. Honestly I am okay. I am happy now, now that I see everything on the outside.

My heart was broken, I couldn't sleep, eat, barely breathe. My direction, gone. My passion and heart, not. So I figured I would just tell myself to chill out for a few days.

This past week has been a dream. Good and bad, sometimes I think of what happened and get upset, but only for a few minutes. A few things I am remembering....

**I Define me
Not other THINGS, or PEOPLE, or PLACES. So focus on my talents and desires. Above all, and everything else.

**Take care of ME
For the next 30 days, my days will fully be focused around changing my body. For YEARS, I have let things go after I was sick. It's time to be the person I know I am, inside and especially out. Truth be told I was happy to be left alone after gaining weight. Being stalked and sought after when you are a girl in the world alone can be a scary thing. I'm over that now, and I want to feel good again. It's been 4 days so far and I can already see a difference in my face. Eating only meats, veggies, and a few other things like eggs, tiny amounts of cheese, etc. Never exceeding 1,200 calories a day. Followed by awesome diet pills, and working out twice a day. Feels absolutely incredible to be taking care of myself. With no pressure and no worries. I have taken "before pictures" Which i thought i would post, but I am not, cause yea...even though NO ONE reads this. I'm still shy?? Idk lol

All in all, I decided to try to relish this moment in my life of uncertainty. And its with everything.